“What if I ate that whole bag of fruit loops?”
(I held it up to her stomach) “Look - it’s bigger than your tummy!! You couldn’t eat it all!”
“If I did, would I die?”
“No, but you might throw up.”
“Well, at least it would be very colorful throw up.”
“Hey Mommy, I DO love you, but if I didn’t, I wouldn’t tell you, because that would be sinning.”
“Well, I wouldn’t love you because YOU were sinning, but if I told you I didn’t love you because you were sinning, I would be judging you, so I would be sinning. So I wouldn’t tell you.”
“Oh. Um…good to know.”
Me: “Mommies are wise, aren’t they?”
Ali: “They’re very fun!”
Me: “Yay! I always wanted to be fun!!”
Ali: “I wasn’t talking about you. I was talking about my computer.”
Ali: “You’re fun too, but not as fun as my computer.”
Ali has a slight fascination with the color of her pee. She’s asked many questions about the variations therein, so I’ve explained that if she has yellow tee-tee, this means she needs to drink more water.
Which just increased the fascination.
I now get a daily report of the color changes, and she keeps a cup of water in the bathroom to guzzle down in case the report is yellow.
She wanted to know why she needed to drink so much water, and I explained about how our body is made up almost entirely of water, and if it gets low, we get dehydrated.
This added to her ponderings.
The next day, she ran up to me, confused.
“Mommy, I have yellow tee-tee, but I can still taste the spit in my mouth!! Why do I have yellow tee-tee if I still have water in my body??”
I was enjoying the silence of a car ride. Little did I know, this silence meant that Ali was pondering big things.
“What if when babies pooped, they pooped out stinky computers full of poop?”
Another car ride, another deep thought.
“Boys that have brown skin look like boys. But boys that have beige skin look like girls. And girls that have beige skin look like girls, but girls that have brown skin look like boys.”
(She then repeats it all…)
“So…Daddy looks like a girl?”
“Hey Mommy – which Princess do you think has the biggest hips?”
“Which Princess do YOU think has the biggest hips?”
“Um…do you even know what hips are?”
(she got all embarrassed…) “Yes…”
“Then what are hips?”
“I don’t want to tell you!”
“You have to tell me what hips are if you want me to tell you which princess has the biggest hips.”
(She points to my boobs.)
“Those are definitely not hips, honey.”