There are some facts about babies that are absolute.
They will always sleep in on the mornings that you have to get up.
They will always get up at 5:30 am on the mornings that you could have slept in.
Their spit up will always miss their spit-up-catching bib and hit your shirt…especially if you just put it on.
If you’re dressed up to go somewhere fancy, they will most certainly award you with the trifecta of baby fluids.
At some point, you will find yourself comforting a baby by letting them ruthlessly gnaw on your fingers… or shoulder…or arm… or even leg…or computer, as mine is doing right now.
In some desperate moment of needing a break, you will convince yourself that waking a baby to change their dirty diaper is a greater sin than leaving them in it until they wake up.
And, at some point, you will most certainly put your baby in a laundry basket – for just a moment of having them trapped in one spot.
Good thing babies generally like laundry baskets.