Thursday, June 30, 2011


There are some facts about babies that are absolute.

They will always sleep in on the mornings that you have to get up.

They will always get up at 5:30 am on the mornings that you could have slept in.

Their spit up will always miss their spit-up-catching bib and hit your shirt…especially if you just put it on.

If you’re dressed up to go somewhere fancy, they will most certainly award you with the trifecta of baby fluids.

At some point, you will find yourself comforting a baby by letting them ruthlessly gnaw on your fingers… or shoulder…or arm… or even leg…or computer, as mine is doing right now.

In some desperate moment of needing a break, you will convince yourself that waking a baby to change their dirty diaper is a greater sin than leaving them in it until they wake up.

And, at some point, you will most certainly put your baby in a laundry basket – for just a moment of having them trapped in one spot.





Good thing babies generally like laundry baskets.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Six Months: A Comparison.

Yeah, yeah…I know you’re not supposed to compare your kids.





No, she wasn’t ever as blond as him.

Yes, the real pier / beach grass background is WAY better than the cheesy portrait-studio-half-painted-half-fake flowers.

Oh – and yes, he most definitely smiles more than she did at this age.

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Noah’s Stats:

17 pounds – 55th percentile

27 inches – 85th percentile

Ali at 6 Months:

16.8 pounds – 50th percentile

26.25 inches – 75th percentile

One day my kid’s not-so-tall genes are going to catch up with them – one day.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

It’s the Yittle Fings, Part Forty.

There’s a lot going on in Ali's head lately.

Thoughts about Ants.

She was staring at the large ant bed at the foot of the tree in our yard….

“Ants built ant beds at the bottom of big trees so that it can – what’s that thing at the top of my bed?? – Oh yeah – a headboard – so that the tree can be the headboard for their ant bed, right? That way they don’t fall right out of their ant bed.”


Thoughts about creatively staying out of trouble.

I caught Ali in an obvious lie, but she was insisting that it wasn’t a lie. We went round and round with the evidence, and finally I said, “I’m having a hard time understanding what you’re saying, but I know you’re lying.”

Ali: “But sometimes a kid tells their parents that ‘you don’t have to understand, you just have to believe.’ Like Lizzie in Tinkerbell told her Daddy about fairies, and she was right! You just have to believe!”

Thoughts about omnipresence.

“We can’t be in two places at once – like we can’t be at Babies R Us AND Sam’s – we can just be at Babies R Us OR Sam’s. But God – He can be at Babies R Us AND Sam’s!!”


And thoughts about Human Suffering.

“Did God make the tornadoes?”

“If God made the tornadoes, then did God mean for people to get hurt by the tornadoes?”


These are the moments that make the Mom Job the hardest – and most rewarding – of all professions.