It's the Yittle Fings, Part Forty Seven.

"Sometimes, when I'm in the bathtub, I tell the waves to be calm like Jesus - just to see if I can do it too.  AND - after a minute -- they are!!"

---

"I always make up songs to sing to bad guys, if I ever see one.  I make up songs about Jesus.  That way they can learn about Jesus, then they won't be bad anymore! Isn't that a great idea?"

---

We were talking about temperatures and what it takes for things to freeze...  I was explaining that for snow to stick, it has to be below 32 degrees.  She thought for a minute, then hypothesized...

"Yes, but if the ground had honey on it, the snow would stick no matter what.  Right?"

---

"I'm going to have an international party!"

"What does that mean, international?"

"It means a really good one!!"

---

"Mommy, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure!"

"What in the WORLD is Pearl River Resort???"

It's the Yittle Fings, Part Forty-Six.

"I sure love Daddy's new silver car.  It is SO. MUCH. FUN."

 "I know.  It is, isn't it?"

"Yes.  And my VERY favorite part of Daddy's new car are the blue square mints.  They're SO good!!"

---

(From monitor during quiet time)

"Mommy! I need help!!"

"What kind of help?"

"Well I'm in the bathroom and I'm wiping my bum and I wiped it the third time but I accidentally dropped the toilet paper in the potty before I looked at it!! So now I don't know whether it had poop on it or not.  Can you come get it out of the potty?"

"Just wipe again and look at the next piece."

"Oh!  Okay..."

---

The next day...

"If you need help, don't yell from the bathroom.  It woke your brother up yesterday.  Just talk right into the monitor."

"But.. but.. what if I'm on the potty and I have poop on my bum and if I get up and walk to the monitor parts of my bum might fall off??????"

"I think your bum will stay on."

---

Clearly we talk about bodily functions too much in our house, because she told me, "Every time I tell AJ anything about tooting, she makes a mad face at me."

"That's because AJ is a lady, honey."

---

But yet, she doesn't realize this dominates our conversation.  After a long conversation about how awful jail is and how the people in jail do and say bad things, her eyes got wide, she gasped, and said:

"And I BET they even talk about poo poo."

---

During television commercials, "People always sound so excited on TV.  Why do they sound so excited??"

---

"Mommy, why do you and Daddy tell me the same thing twice sometimes?"

"Well, you do it all the time, don't you?  Sometimes you tell us the same thing four or five times.  Sometimes you tell me something, then you turn to Daddy and tell him the very same thing, even though he was standing there the whole time."

"Well yes.  But I don't mind at all when I do it, but I really mind when you do it."

The Fast Talker.

 

Ali started talking at nine months, and had a steady incline of words and phrases from then on.  By 18 months, she would repeat any word spoken to her, and knew her entire alphabet.

Noah has been a bit more typical in his development - he knew 15 words by 15 months, and we counted about 30 words at 18 months.

But all of a sudden, at 19 months, I understand what people mean when they said that their kids just started talking in sentences.

After several days at the beach, as we were walking up the sidewalk to go into the house, he turned around and said, "We're home, Daddy!!"

Then today, he brought me a book, looked at the first page, then got down and said a gibberish sentence as he walked away - a typical activity of his.

Except that this time, I actually understood it.

"Gonna go get another book."

...which makes me think that his gibberish sentences all this time were not really gibberish at all - I just didn't have the deciphering skills needed to understand him.

Men communicate too - just not at all clearly.

It's The Yittle Fings, Part Forty-Six.

"I've got to practice my ballet, because I'm going to be a ballerina when I grow up.  Not a Princess Ballerina, just a Ballerina."

"Wow - you've given up on the Princess part???"

"Yeah..."

"But we did so much research... what made you let that one go?"

"So that I can marry Ethan, OF COURSE!"

---

"I had the baddest dream anyone could ever have.  I dreamed a wolf was trying to eat me. Then I had the most exciting dream anyone could ever have!!  I thought I was in this world and I was downstairs and I was flying all around the house."


Then she got really quiet and leaned over and whispered, as she was bursting with excitement...


"And, now that I've done that in my dream, I'm pretty sure I know what I need to do to fly in this world."

"Seriously?? How awesome!! What do you have to do?"




"Well, I've got to flap my arms really hard - like this.  But before I try that, I have another idea too. If I start out running really fast, I might just take off."

---

We were listening to a song called "Angels Unaware".  Ali asked what it meant, and I explained that in the Old Testament, there were sometimes angels disguised as people, and that the song is saying that maybe that happens now, too, and we should treat everyone as if they were angels in disguise. 

"But I would know how to tell if they're angels or not."

"Really? How?"

"Well, I would just look at the back of 'em.  If they had wings, they were an angel pretending to be a human.  If they didn't, they were a human."

"But if they were in disguise, you couldn't see their wings, don't you think?"

"Nope - you could see them from the back.  So that's how you'd tell! Which is JUST like how you can tell if a dinosaur is an herbivore or a carnivore - you just look in their mouth.  If their teeth are pointy, they're an herbivore.  If they're flat, they're a carnivore.  I learned that on Bubble Guppies!"

"What does it mean if they're an Herbivore?"

"It means that they have pointy teeth, of course."

A Sinking Ship.

                            …only after all of that did I realize that he had a toxic diaper. Next: Sink Sanitation.

Because Noah was Feeling Especially Photogenic..

These are the leftovers from my Mother’s Day Post.

It's the Yittle Fings, Part Forty-Five.

"When Noah turns two I'm going to get him a red cape and mask. And when he turns three I'm going to get him a donkey costume like daddy."

---

"Everyday on Wednesday my horse sins one time."

---

One day, we were having some friends over.  Ali had been reading a Look and Find book all morning, but right before they were to arrive, she ran off to my office and hid it there.  When she got back, she asked,
"Can I get my Look and Find out of your office when the other kids come over?"

"Yes, but why did you put it in there if you want to look at it with the other kids?"

"Because I like to say 'I'll be right back.'"

---

Ali wanted to do something later that day, so she told me,

"You need to remind me to do it.  Okay?"

"Why don't you just remember?"

"Well, I can only remember things for about... One minute."

---

"I smell something!"

"What is it?"

"I don't know."

"What do you think it is?"

"I don't know but my party friends said it smells like monkeys!!"

---

"Hey Ali - what's that all over your shirt?"

"Hmm. Maybe bird poop?"

The Great Race.

While one’s opponent rests,


Is the time to put oneself to the test.


Grind out the curves,


Down to the last nerve.


Push through the pain,


But stay in your own lane.


And don’t be afraid to run with flair,


Because the tortoise can indeed beat the hare.

What Happens When...

You try to sit down in full-leather, decades old, hard as sheet metal, two sizes too small Lederhosen.

Eyes.

I don't know where he got them, but I adore them.