Rachel Vs. The World: A Reconciliation.

I wrote this post a couple weeks ago and never published it. It just didn't feel complete. However, Tuesday, it got completed.

So if you follow me on Twitter or read my sidebar comments, you MIGHT have noticed I was a bit irked at my consumeristic bad luck as of late.

I bought a whole bunch of fruit to make smoothies for the shower, and the peaches turned out to be all brown and bland.

Then I went to Sam's and they left something out of my cart (which also reminded me that the week before, I had bought a big container of Greek Sea Salt at The Fish Market at left it on the table).

Then I got a $10 coupon in the mail that I could have used the day before. To a store I hardly ever go to. And it stated on the coupon that it could not be used for prior purchases.

Being that I am an accountant and very money conscious, this kind of thing eats me up. It's a scary view into my mind, but if you saw it, you would see a huge list of debits and credits.

Wins and losses.

So, to assuage my self-loathing for not being a good shopper, I decided to balance it against the unusual amount of things that I have won on blogs lately, which is especially odd since I don't enter that many contests anymore. But the few I HAVE entered, I've won.

I won this amazing personalized journal and handmade bookmark from Amy at Ordinarily Extraordinary,
I won three big bags of Pistachios from Robin at Pensieve,(which, by the way, I've never had Pistachios before, but I do believe I am a Pistachio lover now. Oh my goodness they're so good!! And Ali loves them too.)

(But one time I accidentally sat on one, so now every time I get the bag of Pistachios out, Ali says, "Mommy sat on her nuts".)

Moving on, I won a $15 Amazon gift certificate from Esme's Mommy at Mozi Esme, which I used to buy Ali her map placemats:
And I won a $20 gift certificate for bows at Ladybug Limited via 5 Minute for Mom's Ultimate Blog Party, which I used to buy these clips (in pairs, although the picture only shows one each) for Ali:
So, just in case you weren't already scared enough by the obsessively analytical way my mind works,

Debits:
Sorry Peaches: $9
Chris' Deodorant at Sam's: $7
Coupon a day late: $10
Greek Salt: $4
Total Losses: $30

Credits:
Amy's Gorgeous work: $30 (estimated)
Pistachios: $30
Amazon GC: $15
Hairbow GC: $20
Total Wins: $95.. and that doesn't even count the $100 that I won in Chris' office's basketball pool last week.

Even after I did this reconciliation, I still felt wronged. I reported the mixup to Sam's and they wouldn't fix it. Then I really felt wronged. I know - pitiful, right?

It's crazy how hung up I am on fairness sometimes.

Then, Tuesday morning, I read this verse, and it cut me to the core:

When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. - 1 Peter 2:23

Jesus endured the most incomprehensibly ultimate injustice. A perfect man not only punished for all our sins, but ridiculed and spit on and beaten by people who didn't know they were being "used" in an ultimate plan - they just flat-out hated Jesus, who SO didn't deserve their malice.

I love the last phrase. When he was treated unfairly, He entrusted Himself to Him who judges justly.

I don't have to attempt to fight for justice for myself. I don't even have to attempt to balance it out with good fortune. God sees all and knows how everything fits together. I can rest in that justice, knowing that He is a just judge.